30 April 2010

after reading we will learn something

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and
said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly.
Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know
what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly,
why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the
chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't
talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what
had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory
answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just
pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated
that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent
ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for
her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I
had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of
me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a
kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several
weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something
at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell
asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not
care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want
anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.

She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a
life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a
month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken
marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to
recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of
our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going
crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd
request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to
face the divorce, she said scornfully..

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was
explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we
both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy
in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to
the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in
my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about
the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the
office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I
hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she
was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair
was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I
wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy
returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was
growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry
her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me
stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few
dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my
dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so
thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her
heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out.
To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an
essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer
and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I
might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms,
walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her
hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly;
it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held
her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I
held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked
intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the
door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked
upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not
want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have
a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I
won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I
didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each
other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on
our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed
the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my
wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and
wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I
run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a
relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the
bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot
give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend
and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a
real happy marriage!

♥ 23-04-2010 ♥ friiday

today morning abOut 6 something wake Up le...
saw your message,juST knew that YOU also just reach Home...
lol...
WHERE you going?what You doing whole night o...with whO...
i Dont Know...
i cant slEEP Back that Time...
i turn here ANd there...
thinking...
but this time..
i thinking not like last tiMe...
can tell me the reasOn...
wHy you Become liKE that...
soCoOOOLLLLLLL.....
WHAT going On....
teLl mE Ar....
dont leave at there think anD think...
Okay.....
LoLLLLL...
i today went fitness...
2 hours i spent at there...
this Time i GOing without you...
next time li?
is that that day is laSt time le....
i went alor star with cHin Poh...
accompany he gO see got what movIE watch toNIte...
then come Star Garden work part time...
help gor gor look the shop...
he outing...
i no yet take lunch sO i called Up you...
disappointed when yoU ansWered me no...
plus your vOIce seem no ENErgy...
LOL.....
what happened o...
tonite i Will meet up YOU or no...
U will come find me or find Your friend....
thinking and waiting...
wait and wait...
today i view and vIEW her profile non stop...
is that she said DIDIAO...
is saying you...??
lOL.....

♥ 22-04-2010 ♥ thursday

urgh...
this is 2nd time i type...
LOl....
feel something between me and you about yesterday oUTIng...
the way hoME no talk dao...
No sayang when hOme,no hoLd hand,what also nO...
ia that SOMEthing gOing to happen...
jUSt i dont know oNLY...
20-04-10 ( TUESDAY )
YOU no even send me a news after morning YOu just sent me that at shOp d...
and no put bb also...
night..attend chin poh party...no enjoy at all...sit aside loOK at the phone..wait your News..bUt lastly is ZErO...
i had found no reason why You no find dao me...
or i THink too mUch le...
TODAY lina called up & tell me that you at er tiao lu with snung,jinyao.yuechin them...
if she No tell me i also dont Know...
i will THink that you are wOrking hard...
i KNow freedom between we n we need iT...
so i doesnt have other meaning...

♥ ♥ ♥ 15-04-2010 ( THursday )

review limjiaki facebook had become my routine...
read you with them de email had become my xi guan...
once open laptop sure will read n review...
recently she post de thing so emO...
is tHAT she is saying about you or?my curious become deep n deeper...
she with Eggie Tan sO friend...
is that because of you mar....
i m thinking n thinking..
Or i think too muCh lE..
read and read bACK you With them de email...
keep remind me...
i should wake Uo n Give Uo...
but it is Hard...
i hoPe we can forever ANd Ever...
it couldnt happen 1,rigHt?
why last time YO hide frOM me..
between YOUand WITH them de Everything...
I also cant find it Out...
N no Even feel you WILL did sO...
why you Can seem like Nothing when YOU are with me...
WHen u with mE...
YOUR brain is thinking whAT when last TIMe....
tILL now I also hoPE U are perfect...
But is wrong....
yayaya...
right...♥
you KNow seem more care me already...
but i scare nightmare come agAIN...
or IS happenning Juz i dont knoW....
ermmmm....
down Downnnn....
just nOw too free...
go and view your mesengger...
just know thaT you deleted about me sent tO you in facebook De..
why dOnt you delete with them de...
why is me 1...
i think i should fan xing myself le...
after back from Ip work...
reach hOme no C your msg...
ben lai wan annoy you de..
but scare that is empty hope...
lastly...
you 11pm u msg me said that you with Jensen at salam that time...
when you phoned up me...
i no sleepy or what...
I jUST moody...
becAUSE i saw that youR MESSENGER deleted box gOt me...
lOL...
YOU unlike hor...
sorry.... I think i Will stop aLL thaT...
you asKED to shut the Phone...
that moment i want hold ON de...
but i knoW lastly oso same sAme dE...
i hOPE tO WEBCAM with you de..
but the toPIC i know yoU sure ask the same questiON..
when webcam you suRE will asK...
JUst know i review non stop her facebOOK...
LIM JIAKI...
bb...
GOOD night..
i should Wake Up...
should not dreaming already...
but i really cannot lost you..
but....

9 APril 2010 ( friday)

tis few days...
i think n think...
i sent many msg to u to let u know how u important u for me...
but also same....
yuen lai not bcoz before i no express how u so meaningful to me...
sO u did wrong n hurt me before...
maybe ur style is like that de..
just i dont know only....
no wonder i sent how many msg...
say what to you...
also no respond......
this two days called you non stop at the midnight...
but no answering....
start from sister went genting work (Tue) i cried just can sleep...
because cry make my eye tired....
cried in front of you tot that will get your an wei...
but lastly is...
me better stop cry if not you wont call me anymore...
then straight sent me hOme==
this few days almost everynight also answer eaton call...
that why you cant call in...
but did you know that...
i very very wish to listen your voice......
but everytime not you ask me go sleep jiu shi i asked you go sleep....
i already let you know how important you for me...
but why you seem like no bother also...
should i give Up...
i feel myself very annoy n lost mind.....
if i no listen eaton call...
i scare quiet will make me think non non...
did u know...
why you want scold and angry wor....
haixxx.....
he is now at penang qing ming...
boring day...